Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize