can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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