I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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