I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
