You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
