i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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