it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
