I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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