his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
