if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
i now understand why vodka
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
