I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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