Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
