had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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