Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize