She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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