You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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