And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
