i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Is it because I queefed?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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