Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
