genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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