wrigley field is MILF paradise
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
