hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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