I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
