I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
do herpes really smell.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
