I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize