Can Purell be used as lube?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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