Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
