Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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