You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize