You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
