They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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