I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
