just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
