please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
