Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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