My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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