I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It's rum buckets o'clock
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
