Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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