tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
