Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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