Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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