Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
