Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
