if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
