Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
P.S. I can't hear my feet
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
