I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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