Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
