Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Randomize