You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
