If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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