is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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