I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
