i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize