Cold hands, warm shart.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
