He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
